One of the most repeatable moments from Breaking Bad is Walter White ’s menacing “ I am the one who tap ” manner of speaking . But what if that speech was written not by the show ’s staff , but by the likes of George R.R. Martin or J.K. Rowling ?
Over atMcSweeney ’s , Laura Spadanuta pokes fun at various author by rewrite the speech ( embedded above ) in their style . For example , Ernest Hemingway :
“ I knock , ” Walt suppose . That was all .
George R.R. Martin :
“ I am the man who swings the blade on others , ” said Ser Walder , of House White . “ Valar morghūlis . ”
J.K. Rowling :
“ Do not fear for me , my beloved , for my alohomora spell is the one that arrive at Voldemort cower , ” Walterius White explained to his wife , before transmute into a Scorpio and scuttling into the outlet .
Definitely , definitely manoeuvre over to McSweeney ’s to read the rest . Walter White in the style of Stephenie Meyer is your compulsory recital for the day .
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